1. Driving to Austin in the rain we saw a water tower painted like a giant water melon in Luling. We passed by the elegant courthouse in
Lockhart; I heard the bell chime & I took pictures. I made self portraits in the car.
2. The nerves in my left ear are not as well as in my right ear. On the way back from my doctor I remembered you when I crossed the arched
bridge over the Austin Lake.& I saw the beautiful blue water.
3. My Dad saw a trailer he thought didn’t belong on his ranch. My Dad shouted for our neighbors to come out from their goat farm to learn
what they know about the trailer, but instead he attracted all the goats to himself. I picked flowers to press later at home. I stood alone
outside almost in the middle of nowhere & it was completely silent with the setting sun at our ranch along the highway. The night was chilly
on our way home. I watched many stars in the night sky out the window. I also could see the glow of the lights from Austin in the distance.
4. The rest stations are larger & better now. I saw many old artifacts from the Sequin area like a spit can for tobacco & large ice tongs used
before there were refrigerators. There were also arrow heads made by the aboriginal Indians & a German language newspaper printed by
5. I wished I had a mobile device I could speak to my friends with. I liked the big wagon with a computer built in it. I practiced my Chinese
characters on it; I wished it had Internet access or I would have updated my Qzone account.
In the past I told myself I would conquer mountains for the sake of my friends if I had some.
I saw my friend in trouble; it reminded me of my own low moments I’ve been in too many times in my life. I saw it was important she got back on her feet again. I saw her willpower & her spirit & I searched for the strength even if I had difficulty finding words without regretting it. I had no choice; I gave more of my interpersonal self to her than I have ever given anyone.
Last year I began opening myself to others online hoping to have friends. I don’t want to deprive myself & keep myself in isolation.
I wish my heart would understand so I would not have heart ache & cry tears for my life I miss. Even though I knew I had trouble letting myself have friends I still accepted them one day at a time.
My will to keep living with my friends in my life is as pure as a gemstone. I think you love me; I am thankful for your gift to me. We are so similar in mind. You can feel me in your heart because I am not so lost. I have never had anyone love me this way before. In a perfect would we could always be together & I am my free self to love completely we could visit the sea together & there would be no more tears. You told me that if I kept with my closest loved ones that someday I will certainly return better than before.
We took a trip in March 1994. Bluebonnets lined along the whole highway. Both my parents took turns driving. During the ride on the highway I made a mistake & pulled the front door handle & the door unlatched a jar. The door felt so heavy; so I was stuck holding the door closed until we could stop.
In San Antonio my Dad had to stop & ask someone for directions to the Alamo. There I saw the gated excavation site looking for more
artifacts & answers beneath the old stone street in front of the Alamo. My family had seen the site mentioned on national TV at home earlier. The Alamo was originally a Catholic mission which was later
made into a fort where many famous US people & aborigine Tejanos
(friends) were invaded by the Mexican army. No cameras were allowed
inside the Alamo. Outside I saw big beautiful carved stone. Inside it
felt like a big hall with tiny rooms to the sides. No one could touch the walls because the limestone is sensitive to oil.
We took the bus tour of San Antonio. My Brother & I sat in the very
back of the bus. Our tour guide who drove our bus loved to tell jokes.
We rode past many homes of famous people including the owner of the
grocery store chain in our state. Our group visited the old Catholic
missions place. I dropped my Mom’s camera on the grass & I could
hear the film rewinding. There was a church building made of stone remaining without its roof. We stopped at the rose Garden Brewery where athletes competed in the large pool to qualify for the US Olympic swim team in the ’80s. We fed the fish which now lived in the pool. They jumped up every time I threw them food. Inside we drank the freshest rootbeer I have ever tasted; it was also very carbonated. We visited the Chinese Tea Garden. Our guide told us that the builder worked in private & made the place out of trash & concrete. We walked many paths & levels & watched big fish in the ponds & took pictures there. Before our tour guide dropped us off he told us he had a
identical twin brother he had to go pick up at the airport. We got off at a place with many indoor shops to walk while our group shopped for
souvenirs. We walked back to where the horses were kept for the carriage tours.
We also visited the zoo there which has a carousel & a tiny train ride. I saw a horse & carriage parked & I briefly touched the horse.
Later we visited Uvalde where my Mom grew up. We loved to eat at the Amber Sky Cafe at the motel where we stayed at. The waitress there always used to tease that she will marry me. The weather was cool & overcast when we visited our ranch. I could hear the buffeting sound of the wind against the cedar trees every time we’re there.
On our way home we visited Austin for my first time. We parked outside the capital building at night. It was illuminated white with bright lights. In the night we kept driving through Austin. In the dark we could not find a good enough hotel to stay at or we would have visited inside the capital in the day. My Dad drove back all night. We loved to listen to music on the radio driving like “Baby Love” by Diana Ross. Back then I could not stay awake late at night or I would get drowsey & fall asleep.
Around seven years old I got lost while Mommy & I were atK-Mart. I went behind a clothes rack & later came out. Then I realized I was alone & panicked. I wandered out into the open area where a man who was eating in the in-store restaurant saw me, then immediately knew what was wrong & put his food down & took me to the missing children’s desk.